Stepping Forward and Letting Go of Old Hurt

I was recently presented with an opportunity that felt a bit triggering... well I have been presented with a lot of these opportunities this year if I am honest.

As most of you know in 2021 I suffered a complete burnout that shut down life as I knew it. In reflection, this is also a time when my intuition was rapidly expanding. This led me to do this work full time so now I have absolutely no regrets this was a process that helped me find my calling, my passion. Reflecting on life before that I was in constant fight, flight, or fawn mode, I pushed through all the sensations in my body to do what felt the safest to me. Since 2021 I have been rebuilding my life in a way that I honour the feelings in my body and listen to my heart even if it feels a bit scary. Starting again in my 40s with a family was one of the toughest mental obstacles to stay true to. The fear was real. That always leads me to the question of when is scary good to push through and when is scary a sign that it is a full no from my body.

After studying and feeling into nervous system work, and learning about what is called the window of tolerance I could almost feel myself pushing to the frame of my window. In my life, I have found this to be a bit of an artful process with a grey area. I started to understand when I would suddenly experience a bunch of anxiety, it was an indicator to me that I am about to expand my window of tolerance. Pre 2021 me, used to push through to achieve whatever I thought was the right path. This concept of constantly checking in with my body and trying to listen to it was completely new. So like any new language development, I was having a hard time deciphering the difference between I am scared of this big growth and stop...do not push yourself anymore. At first, to be honest everything scared me and I had no idea how to motivate myself to even try to get to the edges of my window of tolerance and expand my life after everything fell apart one eclipse season. Any time I felt like I had enough energy I was scared to do something that may set me back. I used to be someone that was up for anything and was excited to do new things so this intense fear was so unfamiliar to me. After therapy, energy healing, nervous system studying, and most of all spinal energetics, here I am today...ready to tell you about the most recent steps I have taken.

I have gotten really good at feeling all the sensations in my body because it helps me now in how I hold space for people. I have had a big intuitive push to get out there and network, participate in day events, and talk about my business, and my life. I went to meet with someone new recently and I could feel so many spots in my body kind of lighting up, coming alive, and I just felt triggered. I have learned in this process to check in to see if I am in danger at all... If I am not I get curious...what is happening right now that is reminding my body of something old. I could feel things in my body unwinding and emotions flowing through me. I remained curious and had some realizations that I must have been holding on to some old wounding from my teenage years. I was so proud of myself, I did the thing I wanted to do and I was able to remain present while alarm bells were going off in my body. I then booked a spinal energetics session for myself where I knew I could fully surrender and release everything associated with those triggers.

I wanted to share this because I realized that only 3 years ago any trigger or activation of energy inside me used to scare me into a freeze response. I am proud of myself for being able to stabilize myself and allow things to be realized and still be present in a new opportunity. I believe that we can heal...I am proof that one can heal. I am so dedicated to my offerings because I have personally felt the benefits and I want this to be available for anyone who truly wants to break free from old habits and live with more freedom. My Life did not necessarily get magically easier...I still move through the same things, with a more robust nervous system capacity that gives me the ability to stay curious and present in my body while I process. If you are seeking this, I want to help!

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