Someone to lean on?

As we open up to growth and possibilities, we can sometimes feel very alone. I have experienced many stages of loneliness along my journey. This is all a part of our growth. There are times when you find friends who feel perfectly aligned and something shifts, the work of staying connected gets too hard to maintain. I will often ask myself, was I able to truly be myself in that friendship, was it a healthy give-and-take relationship? Was there any codependency happening that made it hard to fully show up as my authentic self? Did I feel fearful of losing them if I spoke my truth? Did I abandon my wants and needs to go with the flow?

I can often see that there was some realignment happening, and I understand why those friendships dissolved the way that they did, but that does not make it any easier to move through the grief of that ending.

My life seemed to be a series of codependent female relationships that I bent for. Not because they make me but because I have a keen sense of knowing how to make people happy. This is a skill that I developed very early. I mean no harm when I use this skill, I genuinely want everyone to be happy, but in the most recent years, I have realized I do this through self-abandonment. In the moment I am completely unaware that I am abandoning myself. This pattern is so deeply ingrained into my day-to-day life. I usually now can feel myself feeling depleted and then I do some searching for where I am giving my energy away.

In my journey when things were falling apart to rebuild I found myself with just a couple of friends that have stuck around. Sometimes those friends were also going through their own struggles, and I intentionally did not want to add to their already full plate. This is when I started to learn to lean on myself in an empathic and kind way. This was new for me, in the past, I would have looked for kindness and validation from others around me. Oh man, it is a game changer when I could be that for myself. It is not always easy and it does take some pause, grounding, and intention it is now possible to hold a safe space for myself to express and process. When my friends had space I still thoroughly enjoy bonding and seeking their support and telling them all about everything that I have been moving through. My goal is to be able to show up for myself when everything is feeling unstable. Having friendships were we are able to coregulate for each other when the timing works for both of us fully completes the cycle of being seen and heard by another human in a way that we can both sustain is life-giving.

Sometimes our trauma responses are so integrated into our patterns that we do not see them clearly. As we heal we can suddenly realize things about our patterns. This personal experience and realization on my own journey has helped me when working with clients. My main goal is to help you become someone you can lean on. I love holding spaces where you can connect in deeper with yourself to help heal the patterns that are keeping this from happening today. I will always hold a grounded space for you to co-regulate with. We all have different lives and different experiences that pull us away from our mind body connection and being able to fully support ourselves in a kind and loving way, I also believe that we can all journey back to ourselves in a pace that feels safe for your body.

Book a free discovery call to discuss how I can help you!