What does your heart desire?

What does your heart really desire in this life??? I used to ask myself that when I was in my corporate job….I knew I felt incredibly stuck in my life, I felt like every day I was going through the motions of life and I was left feeling drained. But when I asked myself what do I dream of my life looking like….I could not come up with anything. I had so many responsibilities as a mother, a wife, and an employee that I could not even separate myself enough to understand what I wanted outside of the roles I played. I know when I got my job I wanted to be successful in everything that I did, I wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment in my days. When I became a Mom, things did shift, I was putting so much time and research into being the very best mom I could be. I was extremely hard on myself without really having a conscious awareness of all of the ways I stopped taking care of myself. There is just so much research that one can do to be an advocate for her kids. I found out my oldest had anaphylaxis food allergies. In the process of helping with constipation and skin problems, I found out that both my kids and I all have food sensitivities. I put my all into making great food abiding by all the restrictions. I lost myself in all of my tasks and learning how to nourish my kid’s physical, mental, and emotional health. In this process, my health was suffering. I was trying to be everything for everyone, at home and work.

Does this sound at all familiar?

So when I had someone ask me, what do you want? I felt like I was in that clip of The Notebook, when Noah is asking Ali “What do you want? What do you want? and she says “it’s not that simple” The pressure of showing up and pleasing everyone in your life often leaves no space to actually know what you want for yourself. There is so much guilt and internalized shame around letting others down. What I learned is that there is no way to be what people need of you without self-abandonment. It took me a really long time to process through those emotions.

Here I am now, I have left my corporate job and I love what I do! This old programming is on such a deep level that I was running my business like that too. Being a service provider I found myself worrying about what my clients might want from me more than what I want for myself. I thought I have to be as reliable as possible for my clients as they work through energetic releases, I want to create a safe space for them to come to! It is of course the safe space I always wanted for myself, that is just kind of how the energetics work out with service providers often we offer people what we wish we had ourselves. For that dream, I wanted to be stable and reliable in location. But I found myself losing steam with this direction, I was craving newness….After so many spinal energetics sessions for myself, I have shed a lot of my old people-pleasing tendencies, I am actually hearing my desires clearly and understanding that I will be energetically reliable for my clients when I am standing in my own best life.

My own best life is in a major unfolding. I don’t have all the answers, but I am trusting and following my own desires so much more than ever before. I know that the services I offer can really change people’s lives because of how much they have changed mine. I am looking to have more excitement and spontaneity in how I offer my services so you will see me popping up at different locations. Right now I will be available in Peterborough and Whitby offices if you are looking for a traditional 1on1 setting appointment. I am also always available online for 1on1 and group sessions. I have been dreaming of doing some outdoor sessions this summer and I am looking to set up some group sessions. Stay tuned as I move towards what my heart desires.

If this share really resonates with you and you have not yet dove into energetic healing, I highly recommend spinal energetics and I hope that we get to meet one day!!!! I want this very thing for you as well! I think we all deserve to know and make moves toward what our heart desires :)